The voices in my head say eye patches are cool. Fashion tips are always welcome but, as I'm on the good ship Pivo Pivo, the proximity of pirates is probably more relevant. Pirates, I hear you say? Was National Pirate Day not some weeks ago?
Not if you are the Trongate Rum Riots it wasn't. As a band they were many and many of them had hats some of which were pirate hats. That, of course, does not reflect badly on their decision to be at the forefront of the revival of the sea shanty in Glasgow nor indeed does it detract from what must, I assume, to be their most honourable intention of encouraging heavy drinking. As they mused over what to do with the drunken sailor I was led to wonder if they had kebab shops back in the days of the Jolly Roger which, as any history student will tell you, used exactly the same colour scheme as a pint of Guinness.
Distinctly free of morally bankrupt ideas was Mr Wishart who, as it turned out, happened to the organiser of tonight's soirée. With his acoustic guitar and a loop pedal for company, he squeezed in an original or two before attempting a covers medley (featuring two lines of Rick Astley no less) at the kind of pace normally reserved for a Bellshill band attempting to avoid discovery by their parole officer.
Distinctly free of irony but possessed of a vocal and spiritual purity was Johanna Crossley-Zels. She's from Sweden – which, I think, is somewhere east of Edinburgh – and, while she did the sensitive acoustic singer songwriter thing as many do, she easily escaped the confines of self-indulgence that afflict so many others that walk that same path. As if to prove that very point she ended her set with a song called "Anything You Can Do (I Can Do Better)". Now that I think about it, maybe, Johanna Crossley-Zels can do irony after all.
Last on were the rather more boisterous Bohemond. With an abundance of youthful enthusiasm and no small amount of musical ability, they set about their task of riffing up their rock funk hybrid into songs of purpose and it was easy to draw the conclusion from tonight's evidence that they would make for a good Friday night beer band. Not a bad outcome for a band from somewhere west of Sweden.
Time to set sail for home. Anchors aweigh!