It has been intimated before - the weak should stay away from Lee Patterson and his music. It's bad enough that he has come to befriend Glasgow's roaring porch-punk maniac, Dave Arcari, but in recent times the pair have shared a bill in the cosy and respectable State Bar! What is the world coming to?
Take for instance, Lee's CD, The Grinder's Monkey. Now, who on god's green earth starts an album with an acappella gospel stomper? Lee feckin' Patterson, that's who! Scared the life out of me! Lee's commanding voice on "Passenger" is supported only by light percussion, yet somehow it sounds like the end of the world.
"Whoreface" is probably not the best love song you'll hear in your lifetime, but it's sure to be the most interesting, with lines like "the things you do with fruit, sometimes I wish you'd do with me". Fantastic. "Your Best Friend" may cause you to become a seldom spoken recluse, such is its force. As a result of this song I can no longer confess anything to anyone and as someone who was raised Catholic, that's patently unacceptable!
It simply can't be ignored that there's a drinking song on the album. "Go for a Beer" is perhaps too quiet to be a pub anthem, but it nonetheless carries a certain worth and the title track simply has to be heard. The tale of a sailor man and his monkey is as funny as it sounds. If you aren't already desperate to hear the album, this should take you over the line.
Now, this album should be approached with caution. This man should be approached with caution. Just buy the album and run. It's terrific, just be careful with it!